This Will Make An Excellent Horcrux

This Will Make An Excellent Horcrux

First things first, as always. Fatness. Let’s not discuss it. Jackie Kashian has better things to do with her time. Like, for instance, go to war zones, even though she’s a pacifist who comes from a long line of freestyle fleeing champions. If you’re against hitting, she figures, everything above that’s off the table. But still, she loves video games, so possible rides in Blackhawks? Irresistible! A retinue of 19-year-old soldiers in the “Kinko’s of the East”? Eh, not so much. They may be cute, but they’re also exhausting, like a pile of puppies. If faced with a military situation, Kashian goes for the basics: butch it up and try not to be the guy that has to clean up bathroom puke or provide an on-foot escort in a war zone. That, really, sums up so much about Kashian, a native Midwesterner who once accidentally broke up a gang fight with conspicuous reading. <p> This is to say: Kashian is both straightforward and a constant, amazing surprise. Yes, she occasionally makes a mistake: who <i>hasn’t</i> stumbled into harrowing Swedish psycho-sexual torture books when SparkleVamps were available? But she has learned to LARP-it-out when it comes to trauma, how to handle her father on the prowl in Daisy Dukes and a sleeveless denim shirt, she’s even figured out why young men are suddenly growing beards. By both knowing reality (take the bus, take a chance) and trusting 98% of the world, Kashian figures she might just get to die with a look of surprise on her face–hopefully after many happy and lucrative years running a sleep apnea clinic for dogs.