Nightlight: A Parody

Nightlight: A Parody

<b><i>About three things I was absolutely certain. First, Edwart was most likely my soul mate, maybe. Second, there was a vampire part of him–which I assumed was wildly out of his control–that wanted me dead. And third, I unconditionally, irrevocably, impenetrably, heterogeneously, gynecologically, and disreputably wished he had kissed me. </i></b><i><br></i><br>And thus Belle Goose falls in love with the mysterious and sparkly Edwart Mullen in the <i>Harvard Lampoon</i>’s hilarious send-up of <i>Twilight</i>. <br><br>Pale and klutzy, Belle arrives in Switchblade, Oregon looking for adventure, or at least an undead classmate. She soon discovers Edwart, a super-hot computer nerd with zero interest in girls. After witnessing a number of strange events–Edwart leaves his tater tots untouched at lunch! Edwart saves her from a flying snowball!–Belle has a dramatic revelation: Edwart is a vampire. But how can she convince Edwart to bite her and transform her into his eternal bride, especially when he seems to find girls so repulsive?<br><br>Complete with romance, danger, insufficient parental guardianship, creepy stalker-like behavior, and a vampire prom, <i>Nightlight </i>is the uproarious tale of a vampire-obsessed girl, looking for love in all the wrong places.