Infinite Crab Meats

Infinite Crab Meats

<p>Infinite Crab meats is an all you can eat buffet of probing, insightful hip-hop journalism. It's like Crab Legs Night at an actual Chinese buffet, except you don't have to wrestle with rednecks in order to make sure you get a plate. Have as much as you'd like. Pretend you're Rick Ross.</p> <p>Discussed in Infinite Crab Meats:</p> <ul> <li>The author's beef with controversial, venture capital-funded rap lyrics website Rap Genius, as discussed in the New York Times</li> <li>Rick Ross' love of decadent seafood, and its health consequences</li> <li>The emergence of a cottage industry built around collecting pictures of teenage girls with extremely large breasts</li> <li>Allegations that Chief Keef was involved in the gang-related murder of fellow young Chicago rapper Lil JoJo</li> <li>The campaign to have XXL editor in chief Vanessa Satten fired for posting a controversial Too Short video</li> <li>Hot 97 refusing to play local New York artists, like Sean Price, and calling them "minor league rappers"</li> <li>Kreayshawn's occasional racist outburst on Twitter</li> <li>Sexual assault allegations against Indian-American hipster rap group Das Racist, and Indian sexual behavior more generally</li> <li>Brian B.Dot Miller's intense debate with SPIN magazine's Jordan Sargent on whether or not white people should be allowed to write about rap music</li> </ul> <p>Some of the many things you'll learn:</p> <ul> <li>Why it's impossible to subsist on a steady diet of ramen noodles</li> <li>What Geek Squad really does with your computer</li> <li>The importance of occasionally looking up at a woman's face</li> <li>How much it would cost to fap to completion using the Internets at FedEx Office</li> <li>Why Totinos pizza rolls are superior to Totinos frozen pizza</li> <li>The origin of the term Black People Twitter</li> <li>At least two different ways to commit wire fraud</li> <li>The best way to talk a girl into letting you "drop a digit" on her</li> <li>Why a combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell is more of a Taco Bell than a Pizza Hut</li> </ul>