How To Answer "Do These Pants Make My Ass Look Fat?"

How To Answer "Do These Pants Make My Ass Look Fat?"

A collection of brilliant and hilariously true essays that everyone interested in love, sex and marriage needs to read. A fearless intellect coupled with a compassionate spirit, Athol ruthlessly tosses out the politically correct bath water but keeps the babies safe. At times controversial, at times wickedly funny, but always a powerful voice for love, marriage and hope.<br /><br /><br />Important stuff this book tells you that you simply have to know:<br /><br />The two types of men that women ping pong between. Page 9.<br /><br />How to answer “Do these pants make my ass look fat?” and get laid like tile. Page 11.<br /><br />Why the wedding vows aren’t the actual marriage agreement. Page 16.<br /><br />Seventeen ways women reveal they are attracted to you. Page 25.<br /><br />How to tell if a SAHM is going to be great, or spend half the day on Facebook. Page 27.<br /><br />How to beat approach anxiety. Page 31.<br /><br />What to do when your wife won’t have sex with you. Page 35.<br /><br />How to lead your wife so that she wants to follow you. Page 40.<br /><br />Why monogamy works best for most men. Page 50.<br /><br />How the wrong college degree can ruin your sex life. Page 59.<br /><br />How to spot when your wife is testing you. Page 69.<br /><br />What it means when your wife says she’s bored. Page 71.<br /><br />What she’s really saying when she says, “I love you, but I’m not in love with you.” Page 76.<br /><br />Why you should never ask for marriage advice from your close friends. Page 79.<br /><br />How submission really works for women. Page 85.<br /><br />When you should rescue her and when you should let natural consequences just play out. Page 91.<br /><br />Why everyone gets the male mid-life crisis wrong and what is really happening. Page 92.<br /><br />What makes up the female mid-life crisis. Page 94.<br /><br />How to hit her sexual “Big Red Easy Button.” Page 106.<br /><br />What happens when you have sex at 87.3% of maximum roughness and why it drives her wild. Page 108.<br /><br />What you should never do if she asks you to move out. Page 110.<br /><br />The “Second Date Rule”. Page 116.<br /><br />Why her gaining fifteen pounds means she’s into you. Page 117.<br /><br />Why it’s not your job to cure their sexual dysfunction. Page 123.<br /><br />What the female arm slap means. Page 125.<br /><br />Learn what acts like Kryptonite to women. Page 131.<br /><br />Why being an asshole secretly pleases women. Page 137.<br /><br />Why being a White Knight is a bad idea, and being a Horny Knight is a great one. Page 150.<br /><br />Why catering to women makes them like you less. Page 152.<br /><br />How to get her to try a facial. Page 154.<br /><br />Why SAHM’s need to be SAHM’s “Plus Something.” Page 160.<br /><br />How helping a friend out can accidentally make your wife attracted to him. Page 169.<br /><br />What to say after she cooks dinner that will make her melt. Page 172.<br /><br />How to tell the difference between your marriage sucking, and your life sucking. Page 176.<br /><br />How a hot bedroom fantasy can turn into your wife cheating on you and refusing to stop. Page 178.<br /><br />How polyamory and swinging really works. Page 180.<br /><br />Why being playfully mean to girls turns them on. Page 182.<br /><br />How female logic works when it comes to men. Page 196.<br /><br />What to do if she offers you sex, but says she doesn’t want an orgasm. Page 197.<br /><br />The best revenge possible to take against a cheating girlfriend. Page 201.<br /><br />How to handle a drama queen. Page 204.<br /><br />Why women should have long hair and ignore their friends telling them to go short. Page 208.<br /><br />The #1 thing men crave women to do in the bedroom (It’s not a blowjob!) Page 213.<br /><br />What to do when your friend starts trying to steal your girl. Page 217.<br /><br />Learn just how many women fantasize about being used for sex. Page 224.<br /><br />Assuming she’s into it, why you should only spank your wife when she’s being good. Page 228.<br /><br />How to fall out of love as quickly as possible. Page 234.<br /><br />Why a wife going on a Girl’s Night Out drives her husband batshit crazy. Page 240.<br /><br />The only way to build self-esteem that works. Page 244.<br /><br />Why the main complaint about monogamy is that it works. Page 254.<br /><br />How to know if she is worth marrying. Page 2